A Television Abortion

Dave De Fina

When The Fellow With Brimming Sights received his anger, it coalesced against the backdrop of a frighten-cold night. Anger through memory.

He was in the middle of the road watching a car continue after passing. He paused, head beginning to bristle from just underneath bone and cell, bristling outwardly towards the scalp. A closely clustered burst of thick blood punctuated his brain, winding red pearls—cluster of burrs. He continued on with a pronounced hesitance towards a concrete bench. Leg over leg draped, hands at sides dropped. Swirling around the red cluster began a blurred string of memories converted into television quality picture. He closed his eyes, the bench cold beneath knees.

After he received anger, he sat to enjoy it. Through memory.

/ / / The first memory involves his mother, on her hands and knees, kitchen floor. Luminescent blurs infringe around her outline, the shouting light of television quality. She looks up, as if towards a camera and smiles, front right tooth tinted by purple lipstick. Purple like meat. Purple like a nerve or a brain. She is washing the floor, and there is an orange plastic bin next to her. There is a mouth on the inside of the elbow’s bend. It is closed, but still trickling blood. She opens her own mouth to talk but the elbow interjects. Red begins to flow, increasingly denser. The elbow speaks.

‘This is my floor. How are you? Come on in and have a seat.’

Blood jets out with the sibilance. The mouth closes again having filled the orange container. She lowers her head to continue on the floor, arm dipped into container. / / /

The Fellow With Brimming Sights opens his eyes and looks towards his knees; the bench no less cold than before. A plane flies above with a silver chute behind it. The blood in his brain has begins to dry. The halo of television memories continues. The column of muscles in his neck tightens and as he drifts back, the smell of sprinkler water, which has lightly imbued the air, inflects his thoughts.

/ / / He is nine, in a bathing suit, behind the house, in front of the garage. The sprinkler has trumped the grass. Charcoal fumes scent from far off; late day is becoming wan eve. He stops and feels a light, gentle drop fall down his throat. A face appears in the garage window. Like a gingerbread man. He lets the sprinkler continue unmoved on his stomach and looks deeply. The face recedes.

The side door is open; he enters. Inside, the darkness is split solely by a single beam from the four-squared pane. He can see nothing; a splash hits the pane. From the corner a voice begins-

‘You are nine and your swimsuit will not protect you forever’

His eyes try but cannot discern any form from the corner.

‘Drink the water from the sprinkler and your life will be paid for.’

He lifts his foot and starts towards the door; silt from the garage has painted his soles, grainy. Every track he makes is recorded. / ../div>
On the bench, beneath its snare, a quick breath of flowered air floats. Television is a memory cue, not the actual memory.

A story not a gift.

/ / / He is five years old. It is his birthday. His mom comes home dressed like a ghost and hangs ethereal crepe paper from the doorway that bordered his room. She gambols by, hidden behind a white sheet. A white sheet with downward pointing eyebrows drawn above the holes. A white sheet allowing lip stick permeation. He was building a city with blocks. She was candy-fumes, neatly decorating while he sat. The iconic architect, inclined to regret each building but not until it had been thoroughly thought out and constructed by concern.

Each building was an insignificant idea and the letters that formed it, leading to the hallway, near the carpet limit, near the foot of the ghost who held out her hand, candy within, green and alluring. She smiled and blew perfume currents. That’s when he learned the confusion of exchange.

‘You can’t kill emptiness with dying buildings’ shot the ghost, throwing the candy to him with small contempt, razing a building made of red and green blocks, ‘and no one is going to remove the war of your enemies like me, remember that.’

He withdrew the candy and spied the ghost, her lipstick shining through a white sheet, deep burst behind cloud cover. He unwrapped the candy and licked it once covering it well with one pass before laying it on the windowsill. He liked to watch the ants group and feed. The cake was round with moribund candles; each one shot him dead with hope. Uneaten and laminated in the dark fridge. You get one wish, but don’t tell, don’t ever tell. / ../div>
When The Fellow With Brimming Sights felt the nauseating tickle of his brain’s reformation, he acquired anger and sat on a bench to enjoy it. It struck immobile the imagery from actual memory and replaced it with television brilliancy. He thought of situations. He thought of people. He thought that he must never return home, must never find mail, must never father a child, never employ or be employed, never love or allow the effacement of perso

Dave De Fina is 24 and a nice person. He has been published in other places but that does not matter. What matters is that he is nice.