The End of the Story by Lydia Davis
Tao Lin & Brandon Scott Gorrell
12:31 AM
Brandon: i want to watch people
gmail chat, that have good conversations, like you and gene
12:32 AM
i would like to watch a whole gmail
chat
i would watch it while i fell asleep
if it was on youtube
me: that soudns good
i want to film one once
Brandon: good job with that
me: close up
Brandon: close up?
explain
me: so it is big
the words
12:33 AM
and only shows the words
Brandon: just the box
yeah
melville
do it
there is a way to record what happens
on your screen
me: you told me about this
Brandon: i know from the time when i played CS
a computer game
this is something different
people would make movies out of scenes from the game
12:34 AM
and they would stage things in the
game to go along with their plot
me: i mean with a video camera
Brandon: they did it with a
program
me: so it only shows the part where the new line comes up
on gmail chat
Brandon: no use of camera necissary
hm
yes okay
that sounds good too
12:35 AM
me: my new novel is like 50%
gmail chats
from real gmail chats
Brandon: i feel 'lost' in sarcasm
or 'crippled' by it
im serious
me: i felt that way sometimes
12:36 AM
does it efel bad
Brandon: i cant write anything without thinking 'im writing something'
it just stops me from writing
because i feel dumb
and if i edit, i only think about it
sarcastically
me: ill send you 'the end of the story'
soon
Brandon: which makes me not
interested
me: what have you been doing
then
Brandon: is this what it is about? i read the deb olin interview
i dont know
me: is what what it is about
Brandon: i have written
12:37 AM
only felt bad about everything i wrote,
for example the dicey brown story, i read and feel nothing at all
me: i like it
you said 'is this what it is about?'
what are you talking about
Brandon: i meant, is the davis story similar to this conversation
davis novel
12:38 AM
me: no
Brandon: is that why you brought it up, i was wondering
ok
me: no
i dont know
Brandon: ok
sarcasm is killing all actions
me: it is about she having a
relationship with someone
Brandon: its bad
me: and then it also includes her trying to write the novel about it
you are just having a sarcastic day
or week
Brandon: that seems good
12:39 AM
3 or 4 days
i wrote something and gave it to blake for LC but said 'i will edit it more', he read it and said, yes good i want it, but now i read it and feel nothing and edit only so it appears good
the sarcasm is taking over
12:40 AM
i cant do anyhting
me: after this you will be changed
the sarcasm will change you
Brandon: i need to figure something ouit
yes
me: at least then you will be more original than other people
and interesting
Brandon: something needs to change
yes
me: you are becoming more original
by experiencing things that are abnormal
to most people
Brandon: i think this is the way things are going
but
its like a 'test'
12:41 AM
and then this is viewed with sarcasm
because other people have done this thing
the whole thing is a cliche
i feel trapped
12:42 AM
i feel like my sarcasm is too intense
i would like to watch this gmail chat
me: other people havent' done
this thing
Brandon: im not sure
me: who has
12:43 AM
Brandon: test,
i dont know who has
me: no one has
we will have gmail chats
once a week
and record it
i will record it with my camera
Brandon: haha
me: brandon and tao gmail chat ../088
youtube
12:44 AM
Brandon: okay
me: youtube account called gmail chat
gmailchat
Brandon: do you have a camera?
me: i just got an idea
yes
Brandon: didnt you say you were
buying one on ebay
me: i just need to buy minidiscs
i got one from someone
a literary magazine called GMAIL CHAT
take submissions of gmail chats
Brandon: DVRs?
me: dvr, i dont know
Brandon: yes
that sounds good
12:45 AM
me: i got another idea a few
days ago
Brandon: that should be a sub
thing of MUUMUU
me: a literary magazine caleld MAGIC EIGHTBALL
a magic eightball is the editor
and accepts things or doesn't
Brandon: haha
hmm
i dont know about that idea
alot of shit might appear
me: terrible things dont get published though
it would be funny to see something
really horrible get published
12:46 AM
Brandon: so it would be novel
me: yes original
Brandon: hmm
me: today i was thinking about
myself
Brandon: that sounds like a
good promotion thing
me: and i thought i would like bad things to happen to me and to experience long periods of depression and loneliness because then i would become 'more original' or something
i would like to feel more alienated
i mean
12:47 AM
Brandon: have you started feeling
unoriginal
is that why
me: and then i thought that
all i care about is things that are original
Brandon: yes
me: no, i was just thinking
Brandon: i agree
me: about boredom and excitement
Brandon: hm
i feel the need to have 'my onw voice'
i worry
it consumes my being
its like 40% of my brain
12:48 AM
me: i don't think about having
my own voice i dont think
Brandon: that though
t
me: when i think about my novel
i just think about
Brandon: i feel too influenced
by everything ive read
me: i dont even know what it
hink about
Brandon: i need to go to the
woods
me: i just think that if i work on it for long enough time it will be 'original' just because it will be such a concentrated form of one thing
or something
Brandon: yes
i think that is a good maxim
12:49 AM
me: maxim
Brandon: ive used maxim alot
and never really known the meaning
i just use it
me: i watched a documentary
on scrabble players
Brandon: what was it called?
i watched a documentary calle dwordpaly
before
me: one person said he never
had a real life. he said his routine now was waking up at night, playing
a few games of scrabble, and then that was it
Brandon: wordplay
me: that was about puzzles or something
word something
word wars
12:50 AM
Brandon: crossword
hmm
heath ledger died and i read an interview
no
an article
he was quoted as saying 'i feel like everything i do is the same'
and i felt a strong empathy
me: haha
haha he said that
12:51 AM
Brandon: yes in an article,
i googled, i think 'heath ledger dead'
me: i keep thinking 'haha'
i dont know
Brandon: is it the laughing or just that word
i have thoughts
12:52 AM
my thoughts havent changed for like
a month
my unemployed thoughts will be like a phase
because they are all the same
me: the word
Brandon: and i think they will end
the word 'haha'
me: my brain feels really empty a lot of the time now
completely empty
12:53 AM
Brandon: whenever my brain feels
empty, its not empty, it just says, this is boring, or, what should
i do
me: then i read about it in
lydia davis' book
Brandon: there is never something empty
if its empty it says one of those two
thoughts
me: yes empty is not the word
i will type something from the book'
12:54 AM
never mind
i will type it later into a blog post
Brandon: did you send that yet
no
because you will type it
nevermind
thank you in the future for sending
12:55 AM
me: i have gotten a lot of rashes
on my body that itch
i feel senile
Brandon: last night i thought
alot about blogging, and came to an idea that i will post alot more
about inanimate objects like fruit and couches because no one can hate
you for those
me: senile and asexual
Brandon: what, rashes, why
me: i dont know
Brandon: thats strange
me: people can still hate you
12:56 AM
Brandon: yes kind of
me: for your sentences
Brandon: but if you are always posting about nothing
i dont know
im afraid
i hate blogging
'fuck life'
me: people dont hate you if you just post a link
one link
12:57 AM
without commentary
Brandon: i have noticed a trend
in your link posts you dont get comments
in my link posts
me: yes
in whose link posts
12:58 AM
if i make a lot of links i dont get
comments
if i made a post saying why dave eggers sucks i would get a lot of comments
12:59 AM
my novel goes from march, 2006 to march
2007, to now
march 2008
march, 2006, march 2007, march 2008
1:00 AM
Brandon: i dont know what you
were saying i didnt get it
me: Brandon: i have noticed
a trend
in your link posts you dont get comments
in my link posts
me: yes
in whose link posts
if i make a lot of links i dont get comments
if i made a post saying why dave eggers sucks i would get a lot of comments
Sent at 12:58 AM
on Thursday
me: my novel goes from march, 2006 to march 2007, to now
march 2008
march, 2006, march 2007, march 2008
Brandon: okay
okay
1:01 AM
march 2008 hasnt happened
there are different levels though i
think
me: i dont know where to end
the novel
Brandon: of link posts
just keep writing
until an end is received
me: i have urges to just pusblish 'a piece of shit' but original in some way
1:02 AM
like being original in talking about
boring pointless things
Brandon: a piece of shit
internet feels fucked right now
yes but thats what my thing in dicey
brown was
me: but not an entire novel
Brandon: thats all i feel i can do
1:03 AM
thats all i want to do
me: that is good, it is original
Brandon: but im stopped because
of the boring pointless thing
me: your story was original
Brandon: i could write a novel
like that i AM
sure
but i feel bad about it
because its about nothing
me: you should do it
Brandon: just a person thats
incredibly bored
me: that is good
Brandon: i dont know, i fear
1:04 AM
a fear exists
me: you can write other novels
later
Brandon: novel shits
me: did you see that girl again
Brandon: novels should be retitled 'novel shits'
no, just the one time
me: i want to name my novel
something original
Brandon: we talk on IM
1:05 AM
me: i dont know what
Brandon: i feel asinine
i thought that while i saw you were
typing
me: i feel asexual
Brandon: ill send you something
me: my crotch itches
1:06 AM
from dry skin i think
we should submit a gmail chat to blake butler
his magazine
Brandon: this one
okay
1:07 AM
yes one gmail chat
sounds good
me: okay
read his blog
it has some solicaition thing
Brandon: i already have one
in his next issue
me: this chat is revealing
Brandon: he would take something from you too
yes
who should edit it
me: send him this
i dont awnt to edit it
Brandon: you should because i already have something
no i AM
already submitting something
else
me: what do yuo mean
edit
Brandon: it will be by tao lin
me: like change it
1:08 AM
Brandon: i dont know
me: this can be about 'the end
of the story' by lydia davis
Brandon: put it in word doc
i sent you the thing
it has an endless series of sarcasm
me: it looks long
Brandon: i just qualified myself the entire time
the whole thing is a qualification for even typing
i dont kno
w
you submit
1:09 AM
i have filled my LC space with the
story
me: i dont know
Brandon: i dont know either
me: what did you submit
i'm sending you a small paragraph from
my novel
Brandon: a story about being alienated from the furniture in my room
okay
1:10 AM
me: but that doesnt fit into
what he posted
he was soliciting for
Brandon: he asked for it yesterday,
in the morning, before any post i saw, he asked for it in my comments
section, and i sent it, and he said yes good i want it
me: i'm going to email him this.
it 'feels' 'original', to do this
Brandon: okay good
good.
me: i'm titing it
1:11 AM
titling it
Brandon: titting
me: 'the end of the story, by
lydia davis'
Brandon: haha
that made me laugh
me: people will google that and find this
i would rather read this
than reviews
i'm emailing now
Brandon: send tht
that
Tao Lin is the author of the poetry-collection, COGNITIVE-BEHAVIORAL THERAPY, which will be published by Melville House in May, 2008, and some other books including two e-books on BEAR PARADE. His blog is READER OF DEPRESSING BOOKS.
Brandon Scott Gorrell has recently appeared in Pindeldyboz, Elimae, Dicey Brown Magazine, Robot Melon, Lamination Colony, NANO Fiction, Pineapple War, 3:AM and others.