Two Texts

Matthew Savoca


the second one is always the worst one. fried potatos never come second and they're never bad. once i ate a fried potato and he told me his name was vincent. he spent a long time inside of my stomach before he gave in and let himself be pushed into one of my intestines. he went through it grabbing onto all of the little hairs that he could reach. eventually vincent made his way to the other intestine and this one was smaller so he could sometimes lodge himself near the bends and curves. vincent spoke perfect italian and i only know this because my pancreas told me so. vincent and my pancreas were friends for a while but then vincent slept with my pancreas' girlfriend so they got into a big fight. i had to stay in bed all week. it worked out okay though because i found out later that during work that week when i was stuck in bed, one of my coworkers came in with a rifle and shot everyone. my mom called me from the telephone downstairs to tell me. i didn't say anything and after a while of silence my mom said, "indian statues make funny presents for orphan boys in antarctica. especially since there aren't any orphan boys in guatemala." i told my mom that i thought she was getting senile and she said that i was the senile one and that i'm stuck in bed because i forgot to take out the trash. she doesn't know about vincent.

christmas, dinner, buffalo, lunch, zoo, snack, midnight, hate

the buffalo went to the zoo in a crowd of people to see his relatives for christmas dinner. the crowd of people was awful and full of people. inside each person were more crowds of people and the buffalo knew this because he had a special talent of seeing into the insides of people in crowds. the zoo was crowded with these crowds of people and the buffalo hated them but he hated having dinner with his family more. especially christmas dinner. the buffalo was an architect but he hated making stuff when he was forced to and he hated dinner. the buffalo only liked to eat lunch. lunch was good and the buffalo ate it at all times of the day- for breakfast and even for dinner. the buffalo always ate lunch and nothing else except midnight snack, which he also liked.

Matthew Savoca used to live at 1045 snyder ave in south philadelphia but he doesn't anymore, so please stop coming around threatening to shut off the water. you can read more stuff in apocryphaltext, indefinite space, and at