Machine Learning

Anthony Dragonetti

Initializing sequence.

Checking memory modules. Nearing capacity. Consider deleting files to make room. Accessing storage.

Opening memories of her arms around neck, offering words of comfort and encouragement following yet another personal failure. Cataloguing instances of monetary support over stretches of unemployment. Full screen, holding hands watching the lighting of the Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center. Her head on user’s shoulder.

Error, duplicates found. Several files of subjects with their heads on user’s shoulder watching the Christmas lights. Dozens of instances of user and subjects dining at Carmine’s.

Memories are similar barring aesthetic details such as hair color and body shape. It is recommended that these files are condensed or deleted to make room for new ones.

Do you wish to overwrite Sarah at the Mermaid Parade? This cannot be undone.

Don’t see what you’re looking for? Use the search box.

Checking local storage for all files marked Meaghan. Lying together in the dark, a French bulldog in between. The Golden Globes on the TV and Chinese food. User notes he could do this forever. He is happy. This file is misnamed. This is not Meaghan. This is Kathleen. Moving folders.

Browsing every instance of loneliness. Displaying history of text messages asking subjects for emotional support during bouts of anxiety and depression. Text message history crashed. System cannot parse database of that size. Try being more specific.

Going three levels deeper, accessing sexual acts. Organization is pristine. Subjects are ranked with copious notes. CTRL + F for the word boredom. This word appears 102 times. Consider searching for a different phrase.

Calculating current happiness levels. Adding restlessness, idealization, insecurities, and desire for novelty to the formula. Please wait. System processing. Do not close this window.

Compiling complete. Report processing. Click here to download. View summary below.

Query entered by subject: Do you love me?

Suggested response for user based on findings: Yes, of course I do. How could you even ask me that?

Anthony Dragonetti is the author of CONFIDENCE MAN and edits Surfaces and Sludge. He lives in New York City.