dismal cake

Bram Riddlebarger

This dismal recipe comes from The Dismal Cookbook, available in the future when dismal cookbooks are published instead of moldering like a forgotten tub of cottage cheese.

dismal cake

(serves: none)

No one loves a dismal cake. We’ve got you covered.

2 c. flour, the older the better, or more dismal yet, besan
4 eggs
3 tsp baking powder, not aluminum free
1 tsp salt

for topping:

black treacle, we prefer Lyle’s

Preheat your oven to 450º and set the rack in the bottom third.

Mix the first four ingredients in a bowl like a dervish whirlwind until incorporated. Pour into a 9-inch round cake pan and smooth the top. Pop it into the preheated oven until it doesn’t rise like a festive balloon. You should eventually smell something dismal. You didn’t butter your pan or your cake. Remove the burnt cake and admire its trajectory.

Overturn it and pretend to spread the treacle in a nice pattern over top: dismal cake.
Bram Riddlebarger is the author of two novels and several books of poems. He lives in SE Ohio and tweets @gob_pile.