Always have at least one (1) box fan running to provide white noise.

Remove everything from the sink before you use Goo Gone, so when you wash your hands nothing will get on a plate or a fork and you won’t erode your intestines and bleed to death.

If you step on a wet spot on the floor, keep your foot on the wet spot and look at the ceiling to see if there's a leak.

Hit the yellow jacket with the shoe one (1) extra time after you’re convinced that it’s dead.

If you hear a noise in the garbage can, investigate.

Blow your nose before applying skin medicine, so you don’t immediately wipe the medicine off.

Shave before brushing your teeth to give yourself time to assess the damage.

It is not necessary to put on deodorant if you’re not going anywhere.

If the banana is still edible, eat it.